A Quick Summary of My Spiritual Journey

Wicca was a stepping stone for me between agnosticism and current day.

I left the church when I was 13 as our main priest left for the Lutheran Church I went to. My family disliked the time they had to spend balancing work, church and leisure, so we stopped going. As I left for college my parents went back to a nondenominational church. I had a large enough distance away from religion that I became only religious "when desperate". However, I looked into witchcraft after a time and found Wicca. 

Wicca is fine. The people I met within those communities were lovely, if not a little woo-y. 

Woo-y in the context of recommending specific crystals to use for particular rituals, smudging with whatever herbs fit the situation, and praising the goddess as if Wicca was monotheistic, not the duotheism it was supposed to be. 

However I never felt like a proper wiccan. I didn't have access to all the fancy tools and resources other witches seemed to have. I didn't have a community near me. I knew I had this connection to the moon, I knew that I enjoyed witchcraft as a tool. However the actual religious beliefs of Wicca were not for me. The Horned God's role and the lack of balance between him and the Mother Goddess left me unsatisfied. I wanted a spirituality that better suited me. 

Therefore I slowly fell into atheistic witchcraft, but who still is an animist. A grey complex spot of spirituality I'm sure. Following the gods as if they were entities visiting, and having a vague understanding of things. Its a mindset that I still struggle to fully leave. Like interacting with ancestors and those long past, not exactly as deity. However not fully sticking to one religion or spirituality yet.

I suppose my thought behind this first post is to show that I have dug into Wicca, and its community and praxis were not a fit for me. Those who are wiccan I hold no ill will with, unless they are actively hurting someone. However, the experience did teach me a few things of witchcraft I still do to this day: making my own sigils, having a connection and appreciation to the elements. 

Although I still am just a seeker at the moment. 

-Elle